Hi! I'm obviously new here and a little nervous. From the looks of it, I may be in the worst shape on this platform. 
I'm 44. Married. From the great state of Texas. I work full time. My husband runs a business. Now the not so pleasant stuff. At this very moment I don't know what is in my bank account. I have zero in Savings. We are behind on income from my husband. We are behind on our bills. And I have $14 in cash in my wallet.
I don't want to say "Its time for a new me" because it sounds cliche. But I feel like I need a change. I have done well in the past. I have even been debt free besides my mortgage, but that feels so far away right now. I have read Dave Ramsey books and watched Gail Vaz Oxlade. I have read blog posts here and watched budgeting TikToks. But I'm in pretty rough shape right now.
Maybe I should share more info but I'll save it for the next post. Words of encouragement and wisdom welcome.
mrsfitz
October 27th, 2025 at 11:12 pm 1761606738
Everyone starts somewhere!
To me the key to managing money is knowledge - what you have, what you owe, what you spend, and what you have coming in.
I encourage you to start with lists - I like spreadsheets - and gather information.
You won’t get everything in one go, but just keep writing things down as they come up.
There are many ways to cut expenses, some ways to increase income.
If you are comfortable posting your numbers, people will make suggestions.
Jump in, the water is fine!
October 28th, 2025 at 06:25 am 1761632741
October 28th, 2025 at 04:49 pm 1761670144
Don't waste time and energy fretting about how you compare to others. What matters is that you reach your goals,
Best wishes to you. I am looking forward to reading more.
October 28th, 2025 at 11:37 pm 1761694620
October 28th, 2025 at 11:48 pm 1761695338
October 29th, 2025 at 02:19 am 1761704358
October 29th, 2025 at 03:14 am 1761707657
I think about this a lot: Comparison is the Thief of Joy
October 29th, 2025 at 06:48 am 1761720528
October 29th, 2025 at 09:55 am 1761731757
October 29th, 2025 at 02:59 pm 1761749960
I've been where you are. You can do this. The other commenters have given good practical advice. For me, getting started began with slashing expenses. As I made the list of things we spent money on, I immediately cut things that weren't necessities. Eating out, cable, health club memberships, new clothes, one of the cars. I began cooking from scratch and that took a few pay cycles because I didn't have a pantry stocked with staples like flour, sugar, baking powder, oil, rice, beans, spices. I couldn't buy all the staples at once so I did it bit by bit.
A big part of my success was changing my mindset. For you: in 6 years you will be 50. It's the choices that you make now (and tomorrow, and the next, day, and the next) that will determine whether you are in a financially stable place then. It's not luck - it's your choices. As you make decisions to cut things from your budget, do not let yourself feel deprived or 'less than'. You are a smart empowered woman designing your future. You don't HAVE to do anything - you are CHOOSING to set yourself up for success. If, for example, you're skipping the Friday lunch out with colleagues, don't say "I can't afford it." Instead say "It's not in my budget right now. I've brought lunch from home." I know it's just words, but it reinforces to you that you aren't a victim but instead a person in control. Try not to be a person who needs to impress others with things. Be honest with yourself if you sense it - you can change that.
Also, be vigilant about your environment and your time. If you sit in front of the TV, you are being bombarded with marketing to separate you from your money and to make you feel like spending is normal. Don't hang out with people who spend every day. Read books, blogs, listen to podcasts, and watch videos about personal finance. It will change your thinking about what your 'normal' should be while you're being educated. I started by reading The Tightwad Gazette books (from the library!) and taking notes of things we could do. I still reuse ziplock bags, drive an older car, and check the thrift store first to see if they have what I need. Check out the Mr Money Mustache blog. He's wealthy now but his blog used to have a 'click here to start at the beginning' link so you can see his and others' detailed money strategies.
Welcome! We are like cheerleaders in this group. We love to see one another do well and though we come from an assortment of backgrounds and beliefs, we have personal finance support as a common goal. It'll be fun watching your life improve.
October 29th, 2025 at 03:08 pm 1761750495
I don't know about the worst though. I started out with more than $300k USD in debt, and that was nearly 20 years ago's worth of money. Struggling to recover was a mixed sense of depression and hopelessness.
And yet, somehow, even I made it? Knock on wood it stays that way. It did cost me though. It always does, as sacrifices need to be made, and it will take time.
Don't worry though: The hardest part they say is the first step, and every baby step you take will feel ever-so-slightly easier to bear.
October 29th, 2025 at 04:53 pm 1761756808
October 29th, 2025 at 08:02 pm 1761768124
Secondly, you won't find a more informed, more supportive community. They're really fantastic and have a lot of great, real-world advice.